


Dying stars in eternity

by Annalena



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 04:18:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10914183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annalena/pseuds/Annalena
Summary: This is my First Doctor Who fanfic. Please be kind. I'm still learning English so forgive me all mistakes.This is totally AU. The world is over, but in the end Twelfth Doctor met someone. Clara Oswald. They want stay together especially after Doctor told he was pretending forget her. But he is more broken than anyone could ever think...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> That's first charter. Let me know what do you think ☺  
> I think the Doctor is really broken, tired. After all. This is fluff. It will be continued if you like.

\- Where have you been?- the Doctor asked quietly. In the End od Time.  
\- I have seen all stars dying. Clara told.  
\- What do you think about it?  
\- It was sad.

***  
\- With who have you been?- Clara asked.  
They came back to the Tardis. Air was smelling like earth after rain. Petrichor.  
\- With Bill. She's different than you.- he whispered.  
\- Earlier, when you found Gallifrey...How long...  
\- 4,5 billion years. You remember that.  
\- I wish I could forget.

(That you were dying for me.  
That you were thinking about me eternity over and over.  
That in the end I could only smile for you. One last time)

\- Clara Oswald- he said, voice more quiet than a whisper- It's nothing.  
\- I love you. That time...I wasn't talking to Danny Pink. I was talking to you.  
Slowly, he took a deep breath.  
\- I made mistake.  
\- You can fix this. You always fix it.  
\- I...  
\- Shhh- she hugged him, feeling his pounding hearts.  
He hide his face in her hair, the scent of mint, flowers and fresh grass.  
\- At the beggining I wanted to die. But then came the University, Bill and everything started again. I started again. It was like regeneration but for my mind.  
\- I was looking for something. Always, Doctor. Now I see. I was looking for you.  
\- I have always seen you, Clara. In every drop od rain in spring afternoon.  
\- I saw you in every star, Doctor.  
\- Even in those which were dying?  
\- Especially in those.

***

\- Do you really want that, Clara?  
\- Yes. I want to be with you.  
\- In one bed, too?  
\- Yes.

***

Her skin was warm, tasted like roses. So familiar.  
He could kiss her all night long.  
His skin was cold as always, she felt scent of stardust, earl grey tea and his cologne. His hearts were beating in steady rhythm she perfectly knew. 

***

\- Doctor, come closer.  
\- I am close.  
\- Still too much far.

***

\- Clara.  
\- I'm here.  
\- Don't go again. I saw you dying.  
\- It was only a nightmare.  
\- But you died.  
\- Years ago. Doesn't matter.  
\- Yes it does!  
\- Nah. You died twelve times.  
\- I..  
\- You are who you are. I'm another person top. Fair enough.  
\- Clara...  
\- Come here and go back to sleep.  
\- I still hear screams. Your even.  
\- Shhhh. Breath. In. Out. Okay. Just breath. Doctor it's all right. I am with you.

***


	2. Middle of Nowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just fluff. Pure shameless fluff because I think he deserve this. Again, sorry for mistakes.

\- Where are we now, Doctor?- she asked in the morning, middle of Nowhere.  
\- In the End, Clara Oswald.  
\- What does it mean?  
\- Exactly what I said. The Universe died. All is over. One thing left.  
\- Is it...?  
\- Yeah. Tardis. You will be always safe there. I promise you.  
\- Don't. I've never ask you to.  
\- You shouldn't have to ask!  
\- Doctor please. Look at me.  
His eyes were now colder, filled with sadness.  
\- Everything is fine. We are there, wherever it is. I am immortal. You don't have to worry.  
He took her band for a moment and closed his eyes. She just gave him time to pull himself together.  
He inhaled deeply.  
\- I'm okay. Sorry.  
\- Don't be. You went through..  
\- My own hell.  
She kissed him. He kissed her back.  
\- Heaven is in your eyes- she whispered.  
\- What?  
\- I am technically dead. You were dying hell- know- how- many- times.  
\- Not at all. Not exactly. Sort of.  
\- Shut up. I was trying to be romantic.  
\- Talking about our death?  
\- Oh, c'mon. Forget it.  
\- Yes, m'am- he murmured.  
She felt heat on her cheeks.  
\- Why don't we come back to bed, Doctor?- Clara asked.  
\- Nah. Not now. First things first, what are we going to do? What's about us?  
\- We may stay there. And stay together.  
\- I will be happy if you would like to be with me- he said quietly.  
\- Thank you. Love is...  
\- Love is a promise.

***

After all he was sleeping. She didn't want to wake him up. She was looking at him: calm face, silver, curly mess hair like sea breeze, slowly raising and falling chest with every breath he was taking. So silent. So calm and tired. Still so sad.  
She placed her palm over his hearts, feeling regular, strong beats. He was alive, not like dreams she had almost every night during travelling with Ashildr.  
\- What are you doing?- he asked suddenly, voice filled with sleepness.  
\- I'm making my dreams com true- she said.  
\- Oh, I see- he fell asleep again.  
She rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.  
She was finally at home.


	3. Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Less fluff and something more...serious I think.  
> By the way, I'm not good at erotic scenes so I just start them. Everyone can imagine it in way they want.  
> Let me know what you think. Anyone. Please.

\- Doctor, I have one question.  
\- I'm listening- he said, running his Hans through her hair.  
\- Where will we go?  
\- Why should we go anywhere?  
\- Because...  
\- No, Clara. Can we just stay there? For a moment?  
\- Is it what you desire the most?- she asked, special voice which she was using only to him.  
He sighed.  
\- Not at all but mostly indeed.  
\- What else?  
\- You know that. You always knew.  
\- Nah. Show me.

***

\- You have never told me about River Song- she said after, when they were lying in big bed, both exhausted.  
Air was cold, tasting freshness, flowers and vanilla ice cream.  
\- I have not- he said dryly.  
\- Is she...  
\- She died, Clara. In our whole timeline. It's over now.  
\- Oh. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to make you suffer. Never.  
\- I believe- he smiled with sadness.  
She didn't say anything, just hugged him tightly. Do tight she could feel his warm breath, a little faster than usual.  
\- Are you okay?  
\- Yeah. I'm always okay- he said quickly, hiding his face in her neck. She let him do that, as she saw emotions overhelmed him. 

After several minutes his breathing calm down.

\- Better?- she kissed him on a cheek.

\- I guess. Thank you.

\- You welcome. What about Bill?

He smiled.

\- She was like summer. Also as quick as summer she's gone. She had so many questions!

\- What happened to her?

\- Never underestimate a crush. Finally, she found Heather. She ask me if she may go. I let her, obviously.

-Do you miss her?- asked Clara curious.

\- Yes, I do. She adored me as her teacher. I was a teacher, you know. Over fifty years. Bill had never-ending questions. She loved the Universe, treated it like one, big miracle. She made me feel again after...River. After you.

\- Is she happy now? 

\- I think so. I believe she is. I have to.

They started dressing.

\- Do you want find Bill, Doctor?- asked Clara quietly.

\- No. I have no rights to ruin her life.

 

                       ***

\- I want to see Gallifrey.

When she saw rage on his face, fury, pain in his arctic blue eyes, she truly understood who he really was. Time Lord.

\- No! Don't you ever dare say anything about Gallifrey! Ever. If you mention come back on that planet once again I walk away! Only this thing can make me do it! Nothing else!

She sat on the bed with no word. Old Clara probably would yelling at him but Clara- after- her- death has learnt how to be patient and what pain can do.

Doctor was in hell and back, after all.

\- Is it over?- she asked.

\- Of course- he muttered- Will you forgive me?

\- I'll always forgive you. Everything- she promise.

The Doctor sat next to her.

\- Come closer.

She ran her finger through his silky, silver hair. He looked exhausted.

\- Are you sure you all right?- she said, worry.

\- Just tired.

\- Still thinking about Gallifrey, aren't you? 

\- I am. I thought this is my home. I wanted so badly to find it.

\- Time Lords...well.

\- Exactly, Clara.

\- They are who they are.

\- What's now?- he took her hand.

\- We can do whatever we want.

\- Again, may we stay in the End, in Tardis? Not for long, just...

\- Agree, Doctor.


	4. World Enough and Time part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy- angst? If something like that exist. AU, also.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anybody read it? If yes, please, "say something I'm giving up on you".

He needed rest. Part of the day he was sleeping, they were kissing or something more or both. They were reading, talking.

She knew he was a little broken but still the same. The Doctor. A human.

She remembered what he told her in his previous body.

(- _My mother wasn't born on Gallifrey. Father fell in love with her in the other World. She was the  first person who let me see all stars, grass and rain._

_I was seven years old for your measure and I thought I want to stay in that place forever. Then a stars fell from the sky and it was too late for any wishes._

_I loved that Universe. Since the day I saw falling star, I promised something to myself. To see wonders. To be alive. Not being the Doctor, 'cause it came later._

_All I wanted  was see everything. I lived my dreams, Clara. But it was long time ago._

_\- So who exactly you are, Doctor?_

_\- Half  gallifreyan. Half...not. That's everything you need to know._

_\- Can you just tell me?_

_\- Some kind of knowledge might be dangerous.)_

 

 

He was a human because rage sometimes exploded out of him. That what makes human. Emotions.

One day he murmured something like

-" It has been many years past. I need to go somewhere."

The he disappeared. When he came back she saw tears in his eyes. She didn't say anything, just hugged him close, so close. His shirt smelled cologne and sage, maybe lilac.

He didn't say anything either. She knew why.

 

                                                                                                            ****

 

\- Doctor, your hands are cold- she said in the night.

\- I'm sorry- he answered fast.

\- It's okay. Just come closer.

\- I am close to you.

\- Nah. Too far. I hate it.

He sighed but took her in his arms.

\- Is it better, Clara Oswald?

\- It is.

He closed his eyes, trying to breath slowly and steady. She was aware of that, he's pretending. 

\- Hey, it's fine. I know you're awake- she whispered.

\- Of course you do- he said, bitter voice.

\- How many years?- now she was upset.

\- Please...

\- Don't you ever dare push me away, Doctor! This is the one thing can make me leave you!

\- I didn't mean...

\- It's okay to feel. It's okay to mourn someone. It's okay to miss someone, feeling rage or despair. Or both.

It's okay to be sad, Doctor. You know what is not okay? Keep away from you person who...Well. Me. 

\- Why should I bother you with my emotions?

\- Maybe because I care about you, I alawys will?

She hide her face in the crock of his neck, to not let him notice her tears, HER emotions, by the way.

\- Clara, look at me- he said weakly.

\- Just come back to sleep- she ordered.

\- Now it's you who is pushing me away.

\- I am.

He froze, speechless.

\- Please.

\- Fair enough.- she sighed- I wanted you to feel what I felt. It's fine now.

He kissed her. She rest her head on his shoulder.

\- Goodnight, Doctor.

\- Goodnight, Clara Oswald.


	5. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What might happened on Darillium, and probably didn't but I think it's way it could be. And more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know does anybody read it. Maybe. If yes, here is next chapter. Short, but I will add something in the evening.

\- Clara, when I regenerated, why did you stay with me?- he said in the afternoon.

\- Because you asked me for it.

\- Oh.

\- Indeed. Twice. Phone and yourself.

\- It's once. By myself.

\- Doctor, stop. I' ve stayed. That's all. Close your eyes now.

\- Why?

\- Do as you are told.

He did. Strange sounds, so delightfully familiar. Tardis. Another travel.

He opened his eyes.

\- Where are we? I wanted to stay in the End.

\- We stayed, for three days. C'mon. Let's see our new place.

They were on a huge beach. Scent of sea, salt and grass on a shore. Blue sky with clouds.

\- You were livin' on a cloud once, weren't you?

\- Yes, I was. You saw me as Clara Oswin.

\- I don't remember that.

\- She wasn't you at all. She died. But how do you know I lived on a cloud?

\- I was just thinking. You seemed like someone who could live on it. Let's go!

\- Don't walk away- he whispered suddenly.

\- Doctor, it's all right. I'm not going anywhere. Promise.

He smiled.

\- Sorry. I...it's just...

\- Sure. Cant we look at that beach?

\- As you wish.

                                                                                   ***


End file.
